“Consider Matt Gaetz’s contrived, counterfeit smile. He stole that directly from The Joker. Look at them side by side. The same maniacal face. The same evil grin,” said a spokesperson for Warner Brothers, the owner of DC Comics.
A scientist warns: “Not only is the quantity of bullshit growing at twice the rate of underlying communications; the density of bullshit is also escalating, largely due to Fox News."
From 1945 until 2016 toleration was the fundamental principle of American foreign policy. The United States tolerated thuggish Dictators so long as they were our thuggish Dictators. The United States required every allied thuggish Dictator to annually file the one page affidavit.
Ever since its founding document proclaimed that “all men are created equal,” the supply of status in America has been inadequate. Any method to appropriate distinction, even though mispronunciation, will flourish.
Seattleites have long had a love-hate relationship with snowy weather, just as they did over the weekend when the region was blanketed with shovel-loads...
With Trump no longer president, I feared satirical blogging could change from guessing his next tweet to requiring real work.
Post Alley has managed to get its hands on a fake confidential memo from the CEO of Comcast to the leadership of Fox News
An expert explains: "Trump has mastered all patterns of Lizard communications including head-bobbing, tail waving, opening jaws wide, sticking out dewlaps (the fold of loose skin hanging from the neck), and exposing brightly colored undersides. Thus, when Trump speaks, his Base become Beta Lizards receiving orders from the Alpha Lizard.”
“Recruitment for the League is declining in all target categories except for the Foodies. But where else can a gourmet find a menu like ours? Also, younger members are leaving us to practice Satanism-lite with The Young Republicans.”
Let’s hope the new year swiftly brings (among a raft of other things) no Covid surges in the news, no tales of crowded ICUs, a chance to browse in aisles of books drink bistro wine while garlic cooks.
“The plan is to get this to the Supreme Court, frame it as an issue of religious freedom, and get the messhuggah Catholics to rule in our favor."
Your ebriation and sipidity are plorable. You will be a sung hero, precated and paraged for your bauchery, gradement and cadence.
The Covid numbers are quite stable, with a slight majority not ready to die. Texas is way more ready for death than Washington state, the land of wusses. .
The trick is to run out the clock by asking a lot of seemingly-dumb questions until, exhausted, the scammers are ready for a low-ball offer.
One MacArthur insider explained to loser Clifford that, “This year white males received four of the 21 awards. Hey, enough is enough.”
I understand that helping to moderate the next two debates—if they happen— will be a dark, dangerous and dirty job, but I have no doubt that the kindergarten teachers of America would step up and volunteer to perform their civic duty.
Unfortunately, my DJ has hideous taste in music. He loves songs from my pre-pubescent days in the early 1950s. Songs like "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?"
Q: "Most Satanist pedophiles dine on young children because they like the taste. Hillary traces her weight gain on her fondness for Fricassee de Babbim while Soros routinely gorges on Jeune Fille a la Hongrois."
Satan’s brand promise—anger, greed sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony—is compelling.to Millennials. Heaven’s core brand message, The Ten Commandments, is unconvincing and lacks top-of-mind awareness.
Think about renaming public squares, with fine statues of King Don in the middle (renaming Lafayette Square across from the White House is an obvious first choice).
Clearly, the problem lies neither with native intelligence nor education. The problem is that the population of the deep south have developed a herd immunity to facts.
The trick is to say no, ever so politely, and in a way that discourages the favor-seeker from persisting. Practicing inflection is key.
Masks, however problematic, are a symbol of caring for others, trying to protect one another against transmission of a nasty virus. That said, I can't help wishing that I had better constructed ears.
“The Christian God seems to be losing it,” an unhappy Southern Baptist says. “He anointed Trump. Whom will He anoint next? Nicolás Maduro? Kim Jung-Un? Betsy DeVos?”
You can't remember the words. You can’t sing the tune, which was composed for drunken Brits. So c'mon, let's designate a new anthem that really reflects America's values...
Trump: "Face masks are the Green New Deal. Face Masks are socialism. Real Americans don’t wear face masks. Real Americans infect. FTI! Freedom to Infect!”
A Snide Steven tries and fails to get Alexa clued in to the pandemic's costs. Alexa answers with crocodile tears and Amazon propaganda.
"I am planning a three-hour television special, 'The Toughest Decision in History,' where I will announce the biggest decision I have ever faced, in fact, the biggest decision that any political leader has ever faced. It will be incredible TV. Tremendous TV."
In purging Trump from your mind, my wife advised, “Start with something simple. In March begin with the beastly length of his ties. In April add that for all his money, he employs cheap tailors and none of his suits fit."
It was Seattle City light threatening to turn off my electricity unless I paid them $857 immediately. I told them to collect a $1,000 Amazon gift card.
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