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Thursday, April 22, 2021

Steve Clifford

Steve Clifford, the former CEO of KING Broadcasting, has written humor for Crosscut.com and the Huffington Post. He is the author of "The CEO Pay Machine."

Holy Florida Congressman, Batman!

“Consider Matt Gaetz’s contrived, counterfeit smile. He stole that directly from The Joker. Look at them side by side. The same maniacal face. The same evil grin,” said a spokesperson for Warner Brothers, the owner of DC Comics.

New Force of Nature Discovered

A scientist warns: “Not only is the quantity of bullshit growing at twice the rate of underlying communications; the density of bullshit is also escalating, largely due to Fox News."

America’s Dictator Waiver Through the Years

From 1945 until 2016 toleration was the fundamental principle of American foreign policy. The United States tolerated thuggish Dictators so long as they were our thuggish Dictators. The United States required every allied thuggish Dictator to annually file the one page affidavit.

Demi-Semi-Literally: Who Pronounces the “t” in Often?

Ever since its founding document proclaimed that “all men are created equal,” the supply of status in America has been inadequate. Any method to appropriate distinction, even though mispronunciation, will flourish.

After Trump, Where’s my Satire Going to Come From?

With Trump no longer president, I feared satirical blogging could change from guessing his next tweet to requiring real work.

Wanted: Who’ll Be Trump’s Alpha Lizard Replacement?

An expert explains: "Trump has mastered all patterns of Lizard communications including head-bobbing, tail waving, opening jaws wide, sticking out dewlaps (the fold of loose skin hanging from the neck), and exposing brightly colored undersides. Thus, when Trump speaks, his Base become Beta Lizards receiving orders from the Alpha Lizard.”

The League of Cannibalistic Satanist Pedophiles Has a PR Problem

“Recruitment for the League is declining in all target categories except for the Foodies. But where else can a gourmet find a menu like ours? Also, younger members are leaving us to practice Satanism-lite with The Young Republicans.”

Gettysburg Too: Trump’s Crusade to Overturn Historical Fake History

“The plan is to get this to the Supreme Court, frame it as an issue of religious freedom, and get the messhuggah Catholics to rule in our favor."

Attention OED: Time to Juvenate Many Funct and Tinct Words

Your ebriation and sipidity are plorable. You will be a sung hero, precated and paraged for your bauchery, gradement and cadence.

Tracking the Pro-COVID Vote

The Covid numbers are quite stable, with a slight majority not ready to die. Texas is way more ready for death than Washington state, the land of wusses. .

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