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Thursday, April 9, 2020

Steve Clifford

Steve Clifford, the former CEO of KING Broadcasting, has written humor for Crosscut.com and the Huffington Post. He is the author of "The CEO Pay Machine."

“We Shall Beat It On The Beaches, We Shall Beat It On TV” – Trump’s COVID Oratory Through Our Churchill Spinometer

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to me, and me alone. Only I can fix this.

Black Humor: Investing In A Time Of Plague

“Our new model portfolio is 45% gold mining stocks, 45% canned food, and 10% timeshare interests in fallout shelters.”

The Donald Gets Virus Serious: Cue Belittling Nicknames and Nasty Tweets

Calling for a Senate investigation, Trump said, “Let’s subpoena all of the records of the low IQ coronavirus’ dealings with Hunter Biden and Burisma. Disgraceful.”

7(0) Deadly Sins: Clifford’s Five-Year Plan For Surviving Trump

In purging Trump from your mind, my wife advised, “Start with something simple. In March begin with the beastly length of his ties. In April add that for all his money, he employs cheap tailors and none of his suits fit."

Humor: Comrades of Seattle! You Have Nothing to Lose but Good Jobs!

Councilmember Teresa Mosqueda, a former labor organizer, said, “Goods jobs are killing the unions. No one making $200,000 wants to be represented by inept union hacks. We need more dreadful jobs to keep the labor movement strong and vital.”

Some Good News About the Trump Dynasty. Just Wait for 2024.

Things may look bad for now, but by 2024 Donald Trump Jr. faces an uphill battle for getting elected president. Feel better now?

Let Us All Praise “Hardworking” “Patriotic” Americans. But What About We “Productive” Americans?

Other than loving police and abusing immigrants, what identifies a “patriotic American”? Military service is not necessary since bone spurs deny this opportunity to the most patriotic of Americans.

Humor: Tips on Buying Off Shakedown Artists on the Phone

It was Seattle City light threatening to turn off my electricity unless I paid them $857 immediately. I told them to collect a $1,000 Amazon gift card.

Bullshitting Versus Lying — There’s A Difference, You Know

If Trump is not to blame for all the bullshit in America, what is? Higher education.

Satire: Trump Shoots Three on NYC Street; GOP Apologists Fire Right Back

"Hard-working Americans voted for him understanding that he would shoot people on Fifth Avenue,” Rep. Devin Nunes said. “Trump also demonstrated that he is not afraid to exercise his second amendment rights."

Latest Post Alley Posts

When One Headline-Grabbing Scandal at the Pentagon Just Isn’t Enough…

The Pentagon last week issued an order to defense installations prohibiting them from public disclosure of coronavirus infections among their ranks. That has stirred fear in civilian and military communities in places like Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor, Puget Sound Naval Shipyard and Joint Base Lewis McChord

“Amazon Tax” Bill Introduced in Seattle City Council

When the local economy is melting down, should the Council be passing new taxes on businesses?

Crosscut: From Cradle To KCTS

Crosscut's early years were about as bumpy as Seattle streets, but two saviors came to its rescue: the Gates Foundation and KCTS. Now it's a force.

After COVID: What Will Be The New Normal?

Is it possible that this world-wide disaster, which is far from over, has put on vivid display the disastrous consequences of denialism?

Planting Trees Will Help Reduce Carbon, But You Have To Do It Right

Here in the Pacific Northwest -- at least the dank western part of the region -- planting trees seems a natural. If there's one thing we can do here, it's grow trees. And we should. But not every place is Western Washington or Oregon. And even here, there are caveats.