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Thursday, January 21, 2021

Steve Clifford

Steve Clifford, the former CEO of KING Broadcasting, has written humor for Crosscut.com and the Huffington Post. He is the author of "The CEO Pay Machine."

The League of Cannibalistic Satanist Pedophiles Has a PR Problem

“Recruitment for the League is declining in all target categories except for the Foodies. But where else can a gourmet find a menu like ours? Also, younger members are leaving us to practice Satanism-lite with The Young Republicans.”

Gettysburg Too: Trump’s Crusade to Overturn Historical Fake History

“The plan is to get this to the Supreme Court, frame it as an issue of religious freedom, and get the messhuggah Catholics to rule in our favor."

Attention OED: Time to Juvenate Many Funct and Tinct Words

Your ebriation and sipidity are plorable. You will be a sung hero, precated and paraged for your bauchery, gradement and cadence.

Tracking the Pro-COVID Vote

The Covid numbers are quite stable, with a slight majority not ready to die. Texas is way more ready for death than Washington state, the land of wusses. .

Yes, I Speak Car Repair: My R2-D2 Strut Bracings Are Shot?

The trick is to run out the clock by asking a lot of seemingly-dumb questions until, exhausted, the scammers are ready for a low-ball offer.

I am Genius Hear Me Roar (So Why Didn’t I Win a MacArthur?)

One MacArthur insider explained to loser Clifford that, “This year white males received four of the 21 awards. Hey, enough is enough.”

Being the DJ in my Head Should be a Dream Job. Alas…

Unfortunately, my DJ has hideous taste in music. He loves songs from my pre-pubescent days in the early 1950s. Songs like "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?"

My Exclusive Interview with Q, Rebutting The New York Times

Q: "Most Satanist pedophiles dine on young children because they like the taste. Hillary traces her weight gain on her fondness for Fricassee de Babbim while Soros routinely gorges on Jeune Fille a la Hongrois."

Heaven Has a Branding Problem, And I’m Happy To Be A Consultant

Satan’s brand promise—anger, greed sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony—is compelling.to Millennials. Heaven’s core brand message, The Ten Commandments, is unconvincing and lacks top-of-mind awareness.

Uh Oh: Herd Immunity To Facts Is Rising

Clearly, the problem lies neither with native intelligence nor education. The problem is that the population of the deep south have developed a herd immunity to facts.

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