Rob Shriver, the acting director of the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), said today that merit will replace DEI as the primary criteria for hiring and promoting Federal civil servants.
“We plan to reclassify 50,000 policy-making civil service jobs to Presidential appointments,” Shriver said. “Objective test scores alone will now determine who gets hired and promoted,” Shriver stated.
“Working with Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, OPM has designed an effective and powerful multiple-choice test to measure a candidate’s intelligence, competence, self-discipline, persistence, creativity, curiosity, flexibility, and patriotism.”
This test will ask nine questions:
- The collision between a jet and an Army helicopter that killed 67
people was due to:
a. DEI
b. Illegal immigrants
c. The Biden Administration
d. Deep State traitors
e. Transgender children
f. The Liberal Media
g. All of the above - The Coronavirus was caused by:
a. DEI
b. Illegal immigrants from El Salvador
c. Joe Biden
d. The Liberal Media, the enemy of the people
e. Deep State traitors such as Dr. Anthony Fauci
f. Transgender children from China
g. All of the above
- What prompted the “Day of Love” on January 6?
a. DEI
b. Nancy Pelosi
c. Transgender Antifa members posing as illegal
Guatemalan immigrants
d. The “fake news Liberal Media” running old videos of
Kristallnacht as live from the Capital on Jan. 6.
e. Deep State traitors in the Capital Police Force
f. All of the above
Who started the LA fires?
a. DEI
b. Illegal Venezuelan immigrant pyromaniacs
c. Gavin Newson
d. The criminally incendiary Liberal Media
e. Deep State arsonists
f. Transgender firebombers
g. All of the above
- Who unfairly criticized Trump’s highly qualified cabinet
nominees?
a. DEI
b. Illegal Haitian Pet-Eating immigrants
c. Lying parents of transgender children
d. The dishonest and corrupt Liberal Media
e. Mendacious Deep State traitors leaking fake news to the
dishonest and corrupt Liberal Media.
f. Joe Biden, the worst President in American History
g. All of the above - Who precipitated the alarming increase of unprovoked murders
in the United sates?
a. DEI
b. Illegal immigrants with “bad genes”
c. Transgender children with “bad genes”
d. Deep State traitors with “bad genes”
e. The Joe Biden crime family, all of whom have “bad
genes”
f. The Witch Hunting, Bad Gene Liberal Media
g. All of the above - Fentanyl addiction is due to:
a. DEI
b. Illegal drug cartels immigrating from Colombia.
c. Hunter Biden’s laptop
d. The drug-addled Media
e. Deep State traitors in The Food and Drug
Administration
f. All of the above
- The war in the Ukraine was started by:
a. DEI
b. Illegal war-mongering Ukrainian immigrants
c. Joe Biden’s friend Volodymyr Zelenskiy
d. Woke Left groomers of transgender children
e. The failing liberal Media
f. The Deep State transgender twin traitors, Yevgeny
Vindman and Lt. Col Alexander Vindman
g. All of the above
- Hurricane Helene that hammered North Carolina and much of
the Southeastern United States was generated by:
a. DEI
b. Illegal immigrants
c. The Biden Administration
d. Deep State traitors
e. Transgender children
f. The Media
g. All of the above
An anonymous high-ranking source in OPM leaked, “Always choosing answer g. All of the above is a good strategy.”
Oh my— I keep going back and forth about whether this is satire or the latest salvos from the WH. However, this post fits how the last couple of weeks have gone: You laugh, cry, shake your head, giggle, and roll your eyes, then wring your hands, pump your fist, and start sending letters and emails, leaving phone messages, and using your voice! I am turning into a radicalized Moderate.
Trump’s moves are so bizarre that there is only the thinnest of lines separating them from satire. Congrats to Steve for trying to steer. We can only laugh thru our tears.
This is truly wonderful, although I must admit…Trump and the MAGA-minions make it so easy for satirists.
Thanks for the chuckle, Steve — I needed that.
Speaking of merit, isn’t that drunken sex abuser just the perfect match for the world’s most lethal military? And the (T)rump-kissing loyalist who compiled an enemies list? Brings so much merit to the nation’s top law enforcement agency! And HHS really needs an anti-science conspiracy theorist who scares even his own family, right? So much merit!!! Thank God, we are getting rid of DEI.)
Mr. Clifford
Many thanks, kind sir, for a respite.
Unfortunately for us all, right after the fires really got scary, a dependable source told his flock that lesbian firefighters . . . were the reason . . . .
Yes–hundreds of thousands of news consumers believe this.
The merit questions now have some “current events” embedded within.