The previous time the Seahawks held a Super Bowl victory parade, Marshawn Lynch ignited the thousands when he stood on the engine hood of the jitney he was riding, grabbed a bottle of Fireball handed him by a fan, and took a swig that evoked Snoqualmie Falls. Always a man ’bout that action.
Wednesday at the newest Super Bowl celebration, Ernest Jones was a man about words. Two, specifically. Handed the microphone during a podium event at a packed Lumen Field, the linebacker, who had 11 tackles in Sunday’s 29-13 rout of the Patriots, offered a retort to any part of the world that wished to speak poorly of QB Sam Darnold, his teammates or the city of Seattle:
“Fuck you!” Approval shook the building.
Neither of the gestures are behaviors recommended for emulation by children. Then again, when Lynch in the 2010 playoffs finished his legendary Beast Quake run with a grab of his crotch, parents of young innocents the next day Monday were in sly imitation. Teachers, lawyers, cops, politicians, journalists — you know who you are, and where you did it.
So give the Seahawks credit for elevating saltiness in the cultural civic stew. Might be tasteless, but it’s a taste widely acquired this week.
It’s almost by design. It’s part of why they are NFL champions.
A story this week in The Athletic reported the Seahawks over the summer had re-hired Michael Gervais, a sport and performance psychologist first brought to Seattle by former coach Pete Carroll, seeking to develop the head coach’s passion for a team culture featuring positive coaching and mental performance. The story said general manager John Schneider had sought players who were equal parts “smart, tough, reliable (and) swaggy,” meaning confident, bold standouts with some style.
The methodology led to a phrase called “chasing edges,” which often requires edgy players.
“That edge is so rich in content and so rich in emotional experience that it takes a lot to get to that edge every day,” Gervais said. “That’s what we worked on.”
It worked well enough that Schneider, after 15 years in Seattle, is the first general manager in NFL history to win two Super Bowls with completely different rosters for the same franchise. Bringing in edgy players can also bring volatility — see Jamal Adams, DK Metcalf, even Russell Wilson (don’t forget his dorky, self-invented “Mr. Unlimited” ). Lynch himself infuriated Carroll when, ahead of a 2016 playoff game at sub-zero Minneapolis in an outdoor stadium, refused to go despite practicing all week through a minor injury. The Seahawks still won, 10-9.
Fast forward to this season, when second-year head coach Mike Macdonald deserves much credit for managing players such as defensive backs Devon Witherspoon and Riq Woolen, who occasionally threaten to spiral away, but are too valuable to be benched or publicly scolded. The edge can be elusive, particularly among defenders who by definition play reactively, as opposed to the initiators on offense.
Done right, by Carroll and Macdonald, the defense-led teams leave a mark. Here’s a great through-point between Seattle’s best teams, both led by defenses, the Legion of Boom and its new iteration, The Dark Side. On his X account, Computer Cowboy, analyst Ben Baldwin ranked the top five point-differential margins (regular season and post-season) by Super Bowl-winning teams since NFL conference alignment in 2002.
- 2025 Seahawks (+246)
- 2013 Seahawks (+235)
- 2016 Patriots (+234)
- 2024 Eagles (+228)
- 2002 Bucs (+219)
Many neutral fans found this Super Bowl boring because of minimal scoring and absence of lead changes. The Seahawks played the other way too this season; the past two games against the Los Angeles Rams were high-scoring spectacles of intense drama, among the best anywhere in the NFL season. But they seem to have established under two head coaches the ability to grab edges, grab throats and dominate with defense at the seasonal apex.
Whether the Seahawks can replicate the deed is a whole other saga. For now, if any of your non-Seahawks friends around the country complain about a boring game, you can share the salty advice of Mr. Jones. Don’t forget to grab your crotch.
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Sports fans have this unique ability to delude themselves into thinking THEIR players are smarter, better athletes, and certainly more virtuous than their opponents – part and parcel of the pubescent pro sports cult worship experience.
Years ago, I attended a Portland Timbers home game. A last-minute decision, I had no idea where my seat was located; turns out I was situated in the middle the Timbers Army section (or maybe it was some other para-military pseudonym – I can’t remember). The fan next to me was a reasonable sort (he was civil even AFTER I told him I was from Seattle). One of Portland’s players – Diego Chara – was widely known as a dirty player. Predictably, he committed an egregious foul and earned a yellow card for his effort. The man turns to me and says, “yeah he’s an asshole and a dirty player, but he’s OUR asshole”.
So, after the Seahawks victory parade/podium display of alcohol – fueled shamelessness (John Scneider shitfaced at 10 am – really?), perhaps adult thinking will take over, and we can simply think of the Seahawks not as heroes deserving our worship, but simply “our assholes.” No anger or bitterness at all here, just a plea to end the delusion and move toward more reality-based thinking.
Can they do it again next year? A few key players are entering free agency. Unfortunately for the Seahawks, once players have a ring, they often leave the “family” (another sports myth) for a bigger payoff elsewhere. No greater opportunity than seeking a huge payday following a Super Bowl win. Teams often overpay to lure players away from a Super Bowl winner. Money trumps everything. Winning it again next year would be an even more incredible accomplishment.
I believe the phrase you’re looking for is suspension of disbelief. Works in art, film and literatue too.
You’re certainly more well-rounded than I. Maybe I’ll be more refined in the next life…
The great value of big time pro sports is that it is about the only thing left in our churlish and fractious culture that can actually unite everybody within the community. Everything else is potentially divisive. But everyone unabashedly loves the triumphant local sports warriors. Young and old. Rich and poor. Ignorant and educated. Blue and red. If you love the Hawks, nothing else matters.,
Plus, lest we forget, white and black momentarily lose their categorical qualities. Where else except on football teams can you find such genuine expressions of affection modeled between black and white players? Who knows, such things might become infectious. That aspect alone justifies gratefully tolerating all the surrounding mindless foolishness.
These days we need to cherish brotherly affection wherever we happen to find it. Go Hawks!
A friend said she encountered an inebriated partisan who observed, “Seattle is the only city in America that has something to celebrate.” Point taken.