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Monday, March 30, 2020

The Donald Gets Virus Serious: Cue Belittling Nicknames and Nasty Tweets

Image by Alexandra_Koch from Pixabay

After months of congratulating himself for containing coronavirus, President Donald Trump switched tactics and announced a massive attack on the disease.

“The virus is now political threat so Trump will destroy it as he destroys all his political enemies. He will fire off a series of insulting and demeaning tweets,” Kellyanne Conway said.

Following talks with national security and health officials, Trump gave the disease a belittling nickname. After considering “the nut job coronavirus,” “the lying coronavirus,” and “the crooked coronavirus,” Trump settled on “the low IQ coronavirus.”

“Trump really gets it,” said Secretary of Health and Human Services, Alex Azar, a former drug lobbyist.  “Every one of our doctors asked, ‘How does Trump know so much about disparaging nicknames? Maybe he has a natural ability.’”

Yesterday, in a burst of tweets Trump labeled the low IQ coronavirus nasty, lightweight, dishonest, biased, and clueless. Challenging the virus to prove it was born in the United States, he threatened both to deport it and impose tariffs on it.

Calling for a Senate investigation, Trump said, “Let’s subpoena all of the records of the low IQ coronavirus’ dealings with Hunter Biden and Burisma. Disgraceful.”

Trump blamed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for allowing the virus to cross the border at Brownsville, Texas. “The low IQ coronavirus could not have entered the U.S. if Crazy Nancy had funded the border wall. Sad,“ he tweeted. Trump then demanded that the virus immediately resign.

Following the president’s tweet storm, Sean Hannity reported that Fox News “has definitive proof that the low IQ coronavirus was developed in a deep state laboratory jointly controlled the Clinton Foundation and the FISA warrant. We know that the four members of the radical left Squad, Hillary’s emails, and Justices Ginsburg and Sotomayor were part of the conspiracy.”

Steve Clifford
Steve Clifford
Steve Clifford, the former CEO of KING Broadcasting, has written humor for Crosscut.com and the Huffington Post. He is the author of "The CEO Pay Machine."

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